Saturday, July 9, 2011

why did the chicken cross the road??

Question ... Why did the chicken cross the road?


PLATO: For the greater good.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, ``Thou shalt cross the road.'' And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: Our soon-to-be-released Chicken '98 will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
OLIVER STONE: The question is not, ``Why did the chicken cross the road?'' Rather, it is, ``Who was crossing the road at the sametime, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?''
DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road... it transcended it.
MICHAEL SCHUMACHER: It was an instinctive maneuver, the chicken obviously didn't see the road until he had already started to cross.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
PHYSICIST: Because the chicken's momentum had a positive component towards the other side of the road.
QUANTUM PHYSICIST: Because you measured its momentum too precisely.
MATHEMATICIAN: Because of the intermediate values theorem.
ALGEBRAIC GEOMETRIST: Well, consider a faithfully flat etale coherent sheaf...
C PROGRAMMER: cross_road() was called from get_other_side()
C++ PROGRAMMER: chicken->CrossRoad() was called from chicken->GetOtherSide()
OMAR KHAYYÁM:
MARKETING DIVISION OF MICROSOFT CORPORATION: Where does your chicken want to go today?
MARVIN: The other side is just as dull as this one. Don't talk to me about chickens.
ARTHUR DENT: Why did the chicken cross the road? 42? No, that doesn't make sense.

HAMLET:


To cross, or not to cross, that is the question: -
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind, to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous side;
Or to take arms against a road of troubles,
And by crossing end them?

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